Brandy's

What the girls are reading.

2011-11-18T22:12:00.000-08:00

Mckenzie started a new book last night it is one of my all time favorites, Bel Canto by Ann Patchett. She is so enthusiastic about it already. I love to see her face light up when she realizes one of the characters has made an incredibly dumb mistake or an inside joke with another character. She thinks that it is hilarious that the president of a country in this story is addicted to a soap opera. We have her read out loud to me and we talk about the story imagining what the characters see and feel. We do this with CC also. She started a new book tonight. It is a different kind of story but I think she is getting into it just as much. Her book is Smashed by Koren Zailckas. Kevin and I were able to go listen to her speak at Tech a couple of years ago. Her goal is to educate young people about the danger of peer pressure and this book is about her own alcohol addiction. CC read till she could no longer hold her eyes open. McKenzie read till she could no longer talk then she made Kevin read a few pages before she was snoring. Lol I think she will have to back up a page or two tomorrow. I am thankful that they are enjoying this time and that Kevin is such a wonderful dad and influence. We all three love to listen to him read exciting books because he gives each character their own voice and makes it so easy and fun to follow. When we first read Bel Canto, I kept Kevin up really late reading to me because I could not wait to find out what happened next.

2011-09-11T15:36:00.000-07:00

Ten years ago today (9/11/2001) I was sitting in my living room in Jacksboro. I had taken CC to school and McKenzie, a year old and I were watching TV when all the channels started showing footage of the towers. My heart dropped and the fear set in for all of the people fighting for their lives, the brave men and women who risked their lives to save them and as the day went on I became more and more scared for my best friend Kevin, who was in Kuwait. I had talked to him on the phone the night before and he was going to call that afternoon. I did not hear from him for two weeks. They had locked the camp down and no phone calls or e mails were allowed. I stayed close to home in case he was able to call. CC knew something was wrong and wanted to know why we had not talked to Kevin on the video cam on the computer. I told her he was just real busy. She said yeah and then would ask again the next day. His time there was extended. I thank the Lord each and every day that he is home safe. Never Forget. God Bless America.

We have some work to do.

2011-08-30T10:29:00.000-07:00

We just got back from McKenzie’s check up with Dr. Varma. This was the highest A1C ,(8.4) we have gotten other than when Mckenzie was DKA when all this started in 2006. We had to have, a bit more of a grown up talk then what we usually do. McKenzie's stance on it all was that she is going to pay closer attention to what she is doing. We will get it down together. We have the greatest team anyone could wish for backing us. We will be on the phone with Nurse Dreama over the next week adjusting the settings in the pump and helping us to tweak everything a bit. I am about to cry. I know things will be ok and we will get this under control but things just got a little more real, if that is possible.

The love of a sweet dog.

2011-08-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

I have not trusted dogs in a really long time. I saw my little brother be attacked by a pit that bit his head and ripped his ear off. That was nearly 25 years ago. My brother was a little guy like 4 or so. This has been a process but thanks to the help and love of a great friend Rebecca White. We have the sweetest most gentle and understanding dog I have ever met. He is so smart. I was real upset last night while talking to my mom on the phone about how my Granny was doing and Zeus was worried and basically held me and let me cry. Sometimes we need to just cry and know it is ok. I could not go back to sleep but needed to let Kevin sleep in case we decided to head to my Granny's this morning, but I was not alone. I finally realized I was taking an incredible child hood experience from my girls. Zeus is their first dog well other than all the dogs they have claimed over the years that live at each of their grandparents. Huey, Daisy, and Elsie, (At Paw Paw Ken and Grandma Gale’s) Sarah and Gizmo (lived at my Dad's) Then they have Delsey (lives with my Mom). Grizz had always been at Kevin’s Dad’s house. Candy Lives at my Granny’s house and of course the big dogs out at my other Dad's Jager and Meister have been “the girl’s dogs” since CC was a baby. It is wonderful to trust and love an animal again. I still flinch now and then when we are playing but Zeus sees me, he immediately stops playing and gives me a full body hug that feels a lot like when a cat rubs against your leg to love on you. At that point I am able to calm, sit down and enjoy his sweet love. We are blessed to have him :)

The PDF Fix.

2011-07-20T14:48:00.000-07:00

The Kindle is amazing but a lot of research articles and different things that I need to be able to read, are only available in PDF Format. Kevin found the fix, The Adobe PDF converter. You simply upload your PDF and it converts it to Word or Excel then, you save it again. The Kindle will then read it perfectly. You lose any graphics but you can keep the PDF format to follow along with. This is extremely helpful for anyone with low vision. This would be very useful for a teacher who is working with a low vision or blind student. Many people are dealing with disabilities other than low vision that may run into this same software issue when using screen readers such as ZOOM, JAWS, or MAGIC. In the time it took me to write this (about 5 minutes), I have converted 3 PDF research articles that are about 30 pages each to Word format and saved them onto my Kindle. I am impressed with how fast the process is and that you don’t have the spelling and character recognition issues that come along with many of the OCR (Optical character recognition) programs we have paid much more for.

“Bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.” Abraham Lincoln

https://www.acrobat.com/exportpdf/en/convert-pdf-to-word.html

Blest

2011-07-01T02:03:00.000-07:00

Man, I have never heard anyone snore as loud as Kevin is tonight. The last week or so has been nonstop stress. Kevin and the girls handled themselves with class and gave nothing but respect even when it was not given to them. We treated ourselves and the girls to Bahama Buck's Snow Cones once everything was calm this afternoon. Yummy. With everything going silly around us McKenzie forgot to bolus for lunch. We talked about how much to bolus for but she never entered it into her pump. Her blood sugar got a bit ugly for a couple of hours before we realized it while ordering snow cones. She got a sugar free one and was happy with it. She is doing good now. Miss CC is going tomorrow to have Color Guard pictures taken at school. She is going to look so cute. I am already excited to see the pictures. Mom, Ginger, and Delsey the Dog made it home safe. I enjoyed a nice long talk with my Granny tonight. We have not talked much in a while so It was wonderful. I can't think of anything we didn't talk about. ha ha I love those unexpected calls from her. She has a way of giving advice without ever saying a word. Somehow I always remember what is most important in life and have a weight lifted from me after dumping the stressful things that aren't or that I am not in control of anyway. We have our moments and we don't always agree about everything. She is going to be 83 and is and will always be one of the most wonderful people in my life. I miss her and am ready to jump in the car and go crawl up in a pallet in her bedroom floor. Yes I know I am almost 33 year old but that I will never out grow. I miss my Granny Joyce and the talks we use to have. I know she is watching down over us all and I sure hope she is proud of what she sees. I guess I will go get a little sleep. These guys are sleeping so hard they are going to be rested and ready to think of something crazy to do tomorrow and early I am sure. I am extremely blest to have each of them.

CareLink Technology.

2011-06-28T05:02:00.000-07:00

This is wonderful news and looks very promising. McKenzie has used the CareLink Technology with her insulin pump for almost three years. The software is a great way to keep accurate and very detailed logs of her blood sugar numbers, how much insulin she gets with how many carbs and different trends. I am glad they will be using this technology to study and some day find a cure but for now keeping my baby girl healthy and strong.

McKenzie's UltraLink (Meter that she checks her blood sugar with) wirelessly updates the pump with her numbers so when we download the pump also wirelessly all the information is in one place. There is no getting anything by us ha ha poor kid.

I like the reports you can generate and print quite easily.

No need for keeping up with a log book all the time and writing every little thing down because really what 11 year old is really going to do that? I love the way we walk into Dr. Varma's office for 3 month checkups and Nurse Dreama holds her hand out to McKenzie and without a word Kenz hands her pump over. Nurse Dreama will ask her "how do you think your A1C is going to be?" and McKenzie will say "good, I hope". She has done great and only getting better at handling things all on her own. We are very proud of her and extremely thankful for the technology that she has been blessed with.

The CareLink system is 100% web-based and you don’t have to download a thing outside of maybe having the latest version of Java or something

http://www.diabetes.org/for-media/2011/Medtronic-Research-Grant-Release-2011.html

Compare Lancets.

2011-03-25T06:40:00.000-07:00

Compared the OneTouch UltraSoft Lancets that we have always used to the new OneTouch Delica Lancets.

The Delica by far have allowed McKenzie’s fingers to heal over the last few days.

Delica Price- 12.99 for 100 lancets at Wal-Greens

Delica Price- 18.75 for 100 lancets at Wal-Mart

UltraSoft Lancets for 100 UltraSoft Price- 13.99 at Wal-Greens

UltraSoft Lancets for 100 UltraSoft Price- 11.96 at Wal-Mart

The Delica requires a different lancing devise but it is cheaper and easier to replace.

OneTouch Delica Lancing Device 19.99 to replace. At Wal-Greens

Our insurance covers either choice.

We would love to hear which device and lancets you like the best.

If you have to poke your fingers or especially some tiny fingers you might check out the Delica Lancets. I have been amazed with the difference.

Good Luck and God Bless.

McKenzie's "D Team" appointment March 22 2011

2011-03-22T19:45:00.000-07:00

We went to visit McKenzie's “D team” today. AKA the greatest Nurse and Endocrinologist in the world. Kenz is doing great, we need to tighten up a little bit and get back under a 7 on the A1C but she is doing great for her age. We came to an understanding in the waiting room. McKenzie asked another young lady if she had a pump. The young lady, who was maybe 16 simply said “I DID” Kenzie’s eyes got big and she sat and listened to her new friend’s Dad explain that he took the pump away from her about a year ago. We joked and traded candy hunt stories. Turns out McKenzie did not invent the “in the pillow case hiding spot.” That cracked me up. I told him how we let McKenzie keep a couple of blow pops in her room in case of an emergency low. He said oh yeah his daughter also has emergency candy. I am starting to think the candy is sweeter if it is a challenge to get away with. We met a 20 or so year old young lady at IHOP in San Antonio. She had the same pump that McKenzie has. She broke the complications that could happen if blood sugar levels are not controlled down for Kenz real quick and from a firsthand perspective, in only a couple of minutes. I don’t like scare tactics when it comes to children. I am however starting to think the only way to get McKenzie’s attention is to inform her. We have a bit over the past 4 years, but have not let the scary stuff be the focus for her. Knowledge is power and I want both our girls to be powerful. I can talk to anyone about diabetes and how to control and fight it. I can explain how little researchers know about the cause. I can walk you through it all step by step, except the complications of uncontrolled diabetes. I have decided this is a problem that I can fix. I plan to educate myself and not shy away from that part of the fight when it comes up in conversations. I tend to get a big lump in my throat and listen only until I am able to change the topic or find a reason to remove myself from the conversation all together. When we go to the School Health Advisory Council meetings, it is just understood that Kevin will be handling that part of speaking. He does a wonderful job. He is able to show concern and you can tell how hard it is for him to talk about but he focuses and makes sure everyone present receives all the information necessary to make good choices that protect our children. I can and will do better. This is my promise to my brave, strong, and sweet young lady.

Hard Mommy Day.

2011-03-21T16:04:00.000-07:00

How do you explain to an 11 year old that the choices they make today will negatively affect their health when they get older. I am extremely thankful that we are going to see Dr. Varma tomorrow. Miss. McKenzie is in need of a reality check and I am not getting through to her. I dislike talking about complications that uncontrolled blood sugars cause. I will set aside my protective mommy instinct and break it all down for her however. I love her so much and do not want her to ever have to miss out on anything. I am confident that when she gets a little older she will understand how important good control is and why I am being so “mean”. She decided at bedtime last night, she wanted a snack. Well when she checked her blood sugar she was over 300 so she bolused for 30 carbs and gave herself 4.3 units of insulin without telling anyone. She got distracted and never went to eat anything. I had no clue she had given herself so much or that she had snacked an hour earlier and also bolused for that. CC took me aside and said that she thought Kenzie had done something with her pump. We went through her pump and realized what all she had done. I spent the entire night checking her and giving her milk and cookies in her sleep because she kept going low. She was exhausted for school this morning. I would never ever complain about staying up to check her but I cannot allow her to be dangerous with her pump. As much as I dislike the thought, we may be looking at going back to shots for a bit if we cannot get this under control. We have never had to punish her or even really get on to her at all. She has always taken the lead role in fighting this. We have been her backup. This is scary and I do not like it at all. I don’t know what the best response for her is. At this point she is grounded from the computer and the phone. That was really hard for me to do only because it has to do with something she did not choose to have to deal with. I am venting at this point. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I could cry but that is not what she needs from me. She needs expectations and motivation. Oh parenting is hard but some days it is ugly. McKenzie if you read this someday I pray that you are healthy and still as strong and stubborn as you are right now.

Both girls are getting glasses

2011-02-22T15:31:00.000-08:00

CC's eyes. Her left eye is not dilated and her right eye is

Kenzie's eyes right after the dilation drops went in

Kenzie's eyes 10 minutes after the dilation drops.

Both CC and Kenzie are getting glasses. CC's are just to protect her eye. Kenzie's are to see better. They really like the new eye doc his name is Dr. Cockings. He made the visit fun but is really smart. He knew more about our eye issues than any eye doc we have seen before and was able to tell me stuff I didn’t know. He is having a sonogram done on CC's eye humm that’s one I have never heard of or had done. CC asked him “so really you are going to put gel in my eye?” I said no no CC nothing like that, thinking it would be from the side or something. lol He said well actually yes. This will be interesting. He had McKenzie check her blood sugar before he dilated her eyes. That impressed me. If her sugar was high and he dilated her eyes, it could have caused a problem. Her sugar was at 70 though so she was good to go and have a snack too. Before we left Kenzie asked the doc if when they have to get another check up in a year could they come back and see him. He said sure if you want to. Awesome experience. Once again we are blessed to be in Lubbock. He knew the girl’s specialist, Dr. Varma, Dr. B and even Dr. Hurst. Other than the girls not caring for their eyes being dilated, they are happy and ready to go pick out glasses.

Christ our Healer

2011-02-15T20:58:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading a book that I had looked forward to buying for a few months. It was worth the wait and I will for sure read this one again. The last few days have been difficult. We made a bit of an emergency visit to see my eye doctor yesterday. She is concerned about the pressure in my eyes once again, that explains the pain anyway. The last time the pressure in my eyes was too high I ended up having to have eye surgery and having my eyes bandaged for several weeks. This is scary to say the least. I am not supposed to be on the computer but I do have my eyes closed, that should count for something. I am bored and with nothing to keep myself busy my mind starts to worry about the worst. I had the ebook “Christ our Healer” already on my Kindle so I set my Kindle to read it to me for the second time. I cannot say enough about this book. It has helped me deal with not only the challenges I am facing right now but those that have already been handled and those that are not going anywhere anytime soon. Sickness and religious views together quickly became a subject to avoid with many people I have come across. I actually stopped allowing the two subjects to be discussed together with the exception of a couple of trusted people in my life. I was able to visit with my Rheumatologist this afternoon. He is also pretty concerned about my eyes at this point. The plan at this point is to use the steroid drops that my eye doctor prescribed twice a day for one week. I will give my eyes lots of rest and pray for the Lord to relieve the pressure. I am confident that when I go back in a week everything will be drastically improved or we will form the next stage or the plan. Either way the Lord will provide the healing and use the doctors to fight the disease that has harmed me. I am so thankful for Kevin and our girls for being so sweet and supportive. The really do love and care about me. It is funny at times what they will do to protect me or make me smile. I love the three of you more than you will ever know.

http://www.amazon.com/Christ-our-Healer-ebook/dp/B004LB4Z96/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1297191639&sr=1-2

Ultimate Honor

2011-01-23T17:00:00.000-08:00

Kevin and I were honored beyond belief, when asked to be the guest speakers at a SHAC (Student Health Advisory Council) meeting last week. The meeting went wonderful. We spoke to a Doctor, the director of the American Diabetes Association, Martha who we had worked with before, the director of ARAMARK foods services. She prepares the menus of what the children will have to choose from in the lunch rooms in Lubbock Independent School District’s school cafeterias. The head health director of Lubbock ISD who is above all the school nurses was also there, she playing an instrumental role in insuring that McKenzie’s school nurse would be on campus five days a week this year. This was due to a few problems we encountered last year when she was only there three days a week. The head coach of all the Lubbock elementary school’s physical educational program AKA, McKenzie’s Coach Peirce helped to lead the meeting. She was also the person who invited us to speak, about diabetes and the different challenges McKenzie and so many other children face while attending school. We are very blessed to have a “D- Team”, that is proactive and who genuinely loves and are concerned about McKenzie. Not every child is that lucky. Kevin did a great job of covering all the everyday routine stuff and the standards that have worked so well for us. We were able to offer a few ideas that would help the staff at the schools out and make it easier for them to help children but still allow them to gain the independence they must have, in order to win the fight that each of them are dealing with. Kevin also did a great job of addressing the long term affects that uncontrolled blood sugar levels would have later in life. These are difficult for anyone to think about much less talk about. These people who have earned my total respect and appreciation asked us questions and used our answers to form a plan that will help educate teachers, school nurses, and even administrators so that they may be prepared if a situation came up that they needed to handle. I was ready to cry at the thought that we had been able to help in all of this even a little bit. Then the ultimate honor in my opinion happened. I was asked to be a Co Chair of this Council. Wow I am still in shock. I accepted of course and will do any and everything I can to help not only kids fighting diabetes but any challenges that they face.

We have came so far in 4 years.

2010-12-12T01:25:00.000-08:00

The final I should have submitted by midnight, a few hours ago just opened it seems the professor got busy and forgot to open it on the lovely blackboard site. We have more time however; I have another test to do tomorrow and one in class on Monday morning. This messed my plan all up. On the bright side McKenzie is sleeping well. Her temp got up to 103.6, nothing like a cool bath and a mad kid at midnight. We finally got the fever to break. Her blood sugar has been amazingly perfect. I think it is because we are watching so close because of the fever. She yelled at CC in her sleep “why won’t you give me my peanut butter and jelly sandwich?” CC grabbed her meter and said “mom you should check her she is off dreaming about P&J again”. Her sugar was 125, perfect, but her temp was too high 103.4. I am just venting for a minute because I am tired of studying or worrying. We made it to the Christmas Parade. We went early in order to park the car facing the street. Kenzie was doing ok she was so sad when she thought we would have to skip it. It is a bit of a double whammy for her. 4 years ago the 4 of us went to the Miracle on 34th Christmas Parade for the 3rd time. This was already setting more of a lasting pattern or tradition than the girls or I had experienced. Things had been pretty unpredictable up till then. We were comfy in our house that we had been in for longer than we had lived in any one place probably ever. Things were calm and seemed to be right on track. We enjoyed a couple of cups of hot chocolate at the parade mostly to keep warm. As Santa went by McKenzie laid on the curb against her sister. She smiled and waved but never got up. On the way home her tummy got sick. She became violently ill and we could not get anything to calm it down. We ended up in Pedi ICU that night and were first told and made to understand what Type 1 Diabetes was and that children could in fact get it. That was the scariest two weeks of my life. I had just started school at Texas Tech. It was the week of final exams. I did not know I could explain to the professor that my 6 year old daughter was in Pedi ICU. I got what I could done and failed the rest. I failed all the finals but only one of the classes. I retook that class with the same professor. I told her what had been going on and she acted hurt that I had not come and told her what was going on. Here we are, 4 years later. I am still up at 2:30am. McKenzie has had a fever and this has not happened in over a year. I am a ball of nerves because my sweet baby girl is sick. She is not in the hospital she is dealing with normal stuff that kids deal with. So why am I so worried? I guess it is easier to worry about her fever that she no longer has then to think of how close we came to not having her here with us. I thank the Lord every single day for having McKenzie and Cynthia here with us. I also thank him for putting Kevin in our life. I could not have asked for a more caring, creative, and supportive partner to love and protect us. He is truly my best friend. The girls are blessed to have him. They trust, respect and love him, which is the most wonderful thing in the world. I will graduate in 6 days! My #1 quote is “you can do anything if you never give up.” I have to say though; I could have never gotten this far without the love and encouragement of Kevin and our girls. The three of you are everything to me. I love you and will always be here for you no matter what ever happens in this crazy world. We are a team and the world better look out.

Sick but at the Christmas Parade 2010.

Christmas Lunch at Wheelock 2010

Mommy Love and Christmas Lights.

Texas Tech Carol of Lights 2010

"Track Meet"

2010-11-09T18:55:00.000-08:00

We love Kenzie’s pump however there are days when it is frustrating. Yesterday she came home from school, her sugar was high and I could not get it down. We drank lots of water and did a correction bolus. We finally got everything under control. She went to get into the shower so I snagged her pump and had Kevin figure out what the deal was. Basically there was no insulin given for lunch. She checked her finger but somehow the school nurse and McKenzie did not actually do the lunch time bolus. Kevin made the call to Nurse Christy this morning and brought it to her attention. Kenzie is so independent but she is still only 10 years old so stuff happens.

Today McKenzie had her very first “track meet” if you want to call it that. It was wild and extremely chaotic. They lined 200 kids up and sent them on their way with the shot of a gun. They all took off I lost McKenzie in the mob. CC took off after her and Kevin ran and found her as she headed to the finish line. The kids all had fun and that is what matters. I was excited thinking it was going to be a little more organized though. Kenzie is not happy with the number she finished as but I am super proud of her because when a little bitty girl fell while running, McKenzie helped her up.

We went to Buns over Texas to treat McKenzie and CC for such a good job. I pulled Kenzie’s pump out of my purse where I had stuck it when a stranger brought it to me after the race started. I think she might have been a PE coach but not the one I am use to working with. Went ahead and checked the tubing and everything to make sure the settings had not been messed with and there were lots and lots of bubbles in the line and in the reservoir. Dang bubbles. Spent 15 or 20 minutes getting all the bubbles out that would keep McKenzie from receiving the correct amount of insulin.

We had a nice dinner and a good giggle at McKenzie she had been pretty low after running so I gave her some cookies to bring her up pretty quick. That sent her into a bit of blondness. She was sitting there with her hamburger and got frustrated because she forgot to add a little ketchup to it at the self serve bar area. I said “well take a tator tot and use it to add a little of your ketchup.” Next thing I know she has her ketchup all over the top of her bun. C.C. was laughing so hard I said “sweetie I meant inside the burger”. Kenzie smiled real big and said “OH.” CC still laughing so hard she could barely talk finally gets out “how are you going to hold it?” Funny Girls. Love them both SOOOOO MUCH! I love dinner time with Kevin and the two of them both our Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Some lessons in Life

2010-11-05T11:35:00.000-07:00

My exam went great I knew most of the answers. J Went and got in my car to head home and by the time I got buckled there were two large trucks facing each other behind me. The parking spaces are not slanted at all so getting in or out is a pain. One of the truck pulled up enough to block me in to go ahead and let the truck facing him know my spot belonged to him. I thought ok well now back up so I can get out of your way. He backed up to barely leave me enough wiggle room to do the backup pull forward a few times game. I ended up getting annoyed with his selfish aggressive behavior so, I pulled out enough that he could not pull through and would have to back his big mean truck up a ways to the end of the isle then I just sat there and looked at him like he was silly. He did not move for a while but after I put my car in park he did the fast back up to show me he was mad he got to the end of the straight isle and had to do the backup and pull forward thing to get his truck over to the next isle of parking places. Meanwhile the other truck made his way back around and grabbed my spot. I really am not a spiteful person but come on don’t be so inconsiderate that I have to take a chance of bumping you to get out of your way when there is no one behind you. I was not even mad I just thought well ok you are here on campus to learn let me help you. Have a great day and be nice to people if you have a chance. If they won’t let you be nice at least teach them something, after all they are entitled.

God vs. Science

2010-11-04T22:23:00.000-07:00

God vs. Science

‘Let me explain the problem science has with religion.'

The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir,' the student says.

'So you believe in God?'

'Absolutely.'

'Is God good?'

'Sure! God's good.'

'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'

'Yes'

'Are you good or evil?'

'The Bible says I'm evil.'

The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible! He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'

'Yes sir, I would.'

'So you're good...!'

'I wouldn't say that.'

'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Can you answer that one?'

The student remains silent. 'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. 'Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?'

'Er..yes,' the student says.

'Is Satan good?'

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'

'Then where does Satan come from?'

The student falters. 'From God'

'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'

'Yes, sir..'

'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?'

'Yes'

'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'

Again, the student has no answer. 'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'

The student squirms on his feet. 'Yes.'

'So who created them?'

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them?' There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. 'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?'

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. 'Yes, professor, I do.'

The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'

'No sir. I've never seen Him.'

'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'

'No, sir, I have not..'

'Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'

'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'

'Yet you still believe in him?'

'Yes'

'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist... What do you say to that, son?'

'Nothing,' the student replies.. 'I only have my faith.'

'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat? '

' Yes.'

'And is there such a thing as cold?'

'Yes, son, there's cold too.'

'No sir, there isn't.'

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. 'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit down to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'

'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation.. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'

'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'

'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?'

'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains.. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought.' 'It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.' 'Now tell me, professor.. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'

'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.'

'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided. 'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.' The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into laughter. 'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.' 'So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I Guess you'll have to take them on faith.'

'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?' Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it Everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in The multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'

To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'

The professor sat down.
PS: the student was Albert Einstein. Albert Einstein wrote a book titled God vs. Science in 1921.

McKenzie's Ultra Link Checker is MIA

2010-11-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

Today was painfully productive. Three tests down this week and 5 to go including the online classes. We got everything done and on time all day. I made enchiladas with really good beans and chips. Got the table set and noticed Kenzie did not bring her meter to the table like she always does before we eat. The family search party commenced the girls and I turned the house upside down while Kevin searched the car. Kenz said “I think I left it at school? This would not be huge but it is 7pm and I had her check at 4:30pm before she took off to a friend’s house and wouldn’t you know it was a perfect number to have a piece of candy on her way out the door. SHE NEVER CHECKED. She didn’t even bother entering the fake number into her pump. She busted herself out. Lesson for the day, you can have a hundred “checkers” but if you don’t have at least 1 strip well you better find a 24 hour Wal-Greens. Her meter and brand new vile of strips are safe at school but we made the mad dash for monthly supplies We love her so much my sweet little brat I am tired I think I will have a piece of the apple pie I made last night and go to bed. I am kind of getting back into cooking. Kevin is great and also enjoys cooking but I think he should be pampered a little like he is so sweet to pamper me. This has for sure turned out to be the hardest week of school for me so far. I can get it all finished and not let anything else slip because it means the world to me that he is proud of me and the girls see me get it done.. We are working towards great things and are almost there. Night and God Bless.

The Ultra Link by One Touch is missing in action along with the last vile of strips we had. None of these meters talk to Kenzie's Pump if you notice there are two of several of them that was so she could leave one at school. Can't do that with the link the log book would be a mess.

Quick trip to the drug store and we are all set for another 30 days On the bright side this is the first time this school year that her meter got left at school guess thats why we stopped double checking that she had it.

The Kindle!

2010-10-10T11:48:00.000-07:00

The Kindle is working out great. I can save my notes on it and even PDFs and it will read them just like it does the books. I am so excited. A problem I have had in the past has been the tiny print handouts instructors love to use. I scan them and try to make them bigger and the OCR software does not recognize the "image" as text so it will not enlarge so I can see it. If one thing could be improved it would be the font size when in menus other than that I can start it reading and do other stuff. I like the voice better than the voices that are on my really expensive software on my computer. The Kindle was under 200 bucks. For my friends on here who have vision challenges, this is the very best tool I have used. For those friends who are in school but also have kids or other responsibilities this thing is amazing. You can multi task like never before. You know the cool reviews you get that have a word or phrase, well you can open a book and search in it for that word or phrase it finds it like your computer would and you can highlight the area you need to look back at. You can print from it or copy and paste that section of text into the study guide. You can make notes in the book and bookmark the section to go back and review. OH my goodness I am so excited if you cannot tell. The Kindle 3 is what I got it has the 3G as well as the wi-fi option. I did figure out last night that if you e mail your documents to your kindle or Amazon e mail address in order to pull them up using the 3G to save them on the Kindle you will be charged for the data usage. Instead you can use the USB cord hook it to your computer and save on it like a flash drive. Too Easy!!!! I have read 3 chapters and two different 20 page PDF hand outs that I normally would have just not bothered with and not been able to answer questions on an exam about them. I have never been able to read 1 entire chapter at a time before, due to my eyes getting tired. Kevin is great and will read anything to me I ask him to but that is so boring for him. We also work really well together to cover each other from the kids and well life when one of us really needs to study. To have him sit and read to me is frustrating because inevitably the kids will need something or the house will catch on fire or something. The Kindle also has Google and I have my e mail and Android phone linked to it so If I read a little on my phone or on the computer using the Kindle app they are linked so whichever one I open to start reading it will be on the page I left off on. There is a headphone jack so people around you don’t have to hear what is being read to you. That is bonus. Also has a feature so that you can click on a word you don’t know and it will bring up a definition. The battery last a few weeks or up to a month. Basically if there is a way to cheat while studying this is it

P90X Day 3 ouch!!!

2010-09-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

This was day 3 of P90X. I am sticking with it but have to say today way really hard. I am very sore and that makes the work out much harder. Just stepping into the garage was difficult. Yes I am complaining but it will get better. Kevin and Jacqueleyn have been amazingly supportive and so motivational. They have found that middle ground that helps me to push myself without hurting myself. I am very blessed to have such sweet people in my life. If someone told me yeah right you will never be able to do that I would kill myself trying. Then again if someone told me hurry up do it I would give up. We are having fun and getting healthy. The girls are also doing the workouts but they are still too young to feel the pain like we do. I have not lost any weight according to the scale but I can already see and feel a difference. Even though I am extremely sore I have so much more energy and am happier. I am off to bed we are also working on that pesky bedtime that has had us bogged down for quite some time. We will get there. Some of you have asked for before pictures and well I took a few but am going to post them with my 90 day pictures. This is all about building us up not tearing us down or making us feel bad about where we are it’s all about where we are going.

Next Gadget.

2010-09-09T21:54:00.000-07:00

Shopping and finally found my next gadget. LOL those of you who know me know I have plenty. Well I have decided to stick with my durable cell phone that never lets me down. I have shied away from the smart phones because well I am a klutz and will break it before getting it out of the store. I have a lap top but don’t like to carry it. Kevin has a smaller laptop but I am not able to see the screen on it. Dilemmas in life right. Well thanks to the influence of a few gadget friends over the last week or so I have decided to order the new Kindle. It has 3G + Free Wi-Fi. The battery will last for up to a month. Oh and the screen is amazing it’s like reading a real page. All of my books will be saved on it and if I get tired of reading and I do after a short time due to eye strain, it has a reader. I will be able to save files with my own PDFs. This is really cool because I can e mail them to myself and have them with me. YAY Very Excited. The new one comes out Sept the 20th and I plan to order mine after reading about it a little more but hopefully this weekend.

CC is in culture shock a bit

2010-08-25T15:18:00.000-07:00

The first two days of school for CC went great. Today was the third day and things got a little bumpy. This is her first year to be back in main stream classes since she started having the seizures in 1st grade. She has worked hard to catch up. Her teacher gave an assignment today. Write a page on why you chose this class. (Leadership Skills) CC with a straight face explained to him that she did not choose this class. He said write the paper anyway. Ticked her off. We broke it down for her and she is writing her paper. Over all she is adjusting very well. I think a few bumps are to be expected. This was a major leap for her. She is stepping up and changing things for herself. We are so proud of her.

The funniest shopping trip ever.

2010-08-21T22:44:00.000-07:00

The funniest shopping trip ever.

Everything started yesterday at the Gap. Kevin decided that the requests for 50 dollar shirts and crazy amounts for jeans shorts and skirts had gone on long enough. By this point the girls basically had everything they “needed” so he went to the ATM and gave them each 100 bucks. He told them they had till Sunday night to spend their 100 on school clothes or what they had not spent went back to him. We walked around the mall for 5 hours and neither of them would part with their money. Finally Kenzie broke a 20 to buy a cookie because the excitement had dropped her blood sugar into the 50’s. So we got that handled and went back to shopping. I think they both bought two shirts after checking that they were on sale and rang up correctly.

We went back at it today. This time we drove over to Kohl’s. After a couple of hours we went to check out. CC went first she did good she got three shirts and still has 40 bucks left. Kenzie was up next. The man started ringing her stuff up and as she watched the total go from 20 to 50 to $73.08 the color in her face drained. She panicked and asked if she could put stuff back. We told her there was a line. She said ok and started counting her money. With each 20 she laid on the county she started wobbling. We ended up being seriously concerned that she was going to pass out. The man handed her receipt to her and told her that she had saved $94.92 She froze in shock. We handed her the huge bag and headed outside. By the time we got to the car she had tears running down her face. It was very sad. Kevin told her if we get home and you still want to bring some of it back we can do that tomorrow. With big tears she said “No I like it all and want to keep it.”

We decided that because both CC and Kenz did such a great job handling their money we would treat them to custard. As we checked out the menu the girls took notice of the prices for the first time in 4 years of going there. On the way back to the car Kenzie told us she was sorry for getting so upset that she just does not like to spend so much at once and that it might not hurt as bad to spend a little at a time. We giggled. Meanwhile CC got a little bit of her chocolate ice cream on her new Eddie Bauer T-Shirt. She stopped laughing at McKenzie long enough to have a cow about her shirt getting a stain and that it was on sale but it was still 10 dollars. Oh my Lord Kevin and I were laughing so hard. We got home and CC went and changed shirts to immediately try to get the stain out of her’s.

I love our girls so much. I have to say though it is a bunch more fun to go shopping with “their money”. I think they both learned a lot and hopefully will carry it with them forever. They didn’t only buy stuff that was on sale but they figured out they could offset the price of the stuff they were willing to pay full price for by shopping around for sale stuff also. Kevin did a great job and the girls are ready for school, well except that 40 bucks CC probably has stashed under her pillow as we speak. Ha ha.

Court Situation.

2010-08-13T20:10:00.001-07:00

Pena v. Smith. Cindy Pena AKA my Mom was sued for the alleged breach of a real estate sales con-tract. Attorney Michael A. Smith sued Cindy because she refused to sell him the mineral rights to a rather small section of land. The mineral rights had never been discussed and where not included on the deed in fact if the Judge had required Attorney Smith to use a title company like anyone else would have had to they would have performed a standard title search and realized the mineral rights had in fact been reserved. This entire situation has been out of control for two years and has coast my family and me a lot of money, time and the ability to do anything with the land that sat illegally in Mr. Smith's name until today when the appeal court reversed the trial court’s ruling. However it's not over because the case has been remanded back to the same trial court to try again. I hope and pray things go better this time around.

• Pena — Appellant’s Brief

• Pena — Appellee’s Brief
http://www.blogcatalog.com/blog/trial-error

• Pena — Reply Brief
http://www.blogcatalog.com/blog/trial-error

• Pena v. Smith — Court’s Opinion
http://www.blogcatalog.com/blog/trial-error

Not the happiest

2010-08-12T20:37:00.000-07:00

We made it to CC’s orthodontist appointment today. We are really trying hard to not miss any appointments so she can get the braces off as quickly as possible. I am ticked off tonight however because they left the bottom wire sticking out about a quarter of an inch on both sides in the back after adding bands that will already cause her enough pain to take Advil or something. So on top of the normal pain she is dealing with wires sticking into her gums err. We will be back in there first thing in the morning. She is 15 and insists on going to the back by herself but they don’t listen to her so we are going back to at least Kevin stepping back before they finish to check everything out. If we had went ahead and headed out of town she would have major sores and have even more to deal with. I am not happy.

The next thing is a new Prosthetic Eye on Monday and Tuesday. After that she should be set to start school oh guess we will finish school shopping at some point in there.

McKenzie is ready for school for the most part. We had her three month check up with her endocrinologist a couple of weeks ago and her A1C was a 6.2. That’s awesome she sneaks stuff now and then but she is getting really good with her pump and most of the time I don’t even know she had anything extra. That’s ok as long as she handles it and does not let it spike her blood sugar.

Kevin and I are both registered and set for our classes to start shortly after the girls go back. I got my final grades back today for summer 2. I ended up with two As YAY !!! I worked my tail end off for these two. Kevin did well in his classes also. We will get finished someday lol.

Last night was pretty big for us.

2010-08-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

Last night was pretty big for us. McKenzie let me change her site without Kevin in the room. Silly but she has only had the pump since January and we have had a couple of times not go perfectly. She cries and wants him to do it so we set it up so that she would think he was asleep. He was ready if something did not go right but it all went perfect except the dang needle stayed in the site not huge it happens you just have to pull it out before she realizes it. He is going to be pretty busy when she has to have it changed this weekend and might not be able to jump and fix stuff so we are prepared and it was a great step for us. I am proud of her for being so brave and trusting. I know it is hard knowing I am not able to see as well as most people. I am proud of CC for taking my place in letting McKenzie squeeze her HAND as HARD as she POSSIBLY CAN. I am proud and thankful to Kevin for encouraging me and showing the girls that he has confidence in my ability to handle anything that comes up. I am also proud of myself for pulling the needle out even though McKenzie was upset, yelling and trying to get up. That is much harder than it might sounds. The next step is for Miss McKenzie to learn to change her own site. I think we will be helping her for a bit though. She is a tough little princess but it is hard to put a needle that long into your belly and even harder to pop it into your own back/butt area. We still love the pump it is amazingly better than shots without a doubt. It is still painful though and we never take that from her. She always gets the biggest hugs when it’s over and she calls the shots as far as where we put it, there just aren’t a bunch of options for her to pick from. We will never change her site while she is asleep. That way she never has to think about it being a possibility as she falls asleep. We always count before the pop and if she says wait we totally stop. We have given her as much control as we can and she takes that control and uses it as a responsibility. That makes her in charge and in good control of her diabetes. She is a trooper and will continue doing what she has to till a cure is found. She defiantly got the stubborn hard head honestly. After all she is her Great Granny’s name sake ha ha.

Awards, Camping, Hopes of the OmniPod, and our girls are growing up so fast.

2010-05-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

Miss CC was given several awards at her school’s awards ceremony tonight. She received awards for, Outstanding leadership, Most Helpful, and The A Honor Roll for 2009-2010. Outstanding Achievement in Pre-Voc. The recycling program that she has been a part of for the last three years is part of this award. The kids get to take some of the money they have gotten from their hard work collecting, sorting, and actually taking all these things to the recycling center and go enjoy lunch with their awesome teachers tomorrow. CC is doing very well with her new braces. She is still a bit unsure about how easily one of the brackets will break so she is still following every single rule as far as what she is not able to eat. I am sure that will pass with time.

Today has been great. Miss McKenzie went on her first field trip without Kevin or I joining them. She is so proud even though I know she missed us like crazy. She was chosen as one of the principles top students and they went and hung out at the Boy’s and Girl’s club and had lunch and played all kinds of different stuff. The Lubbock ISD and McKenzie’s school’s staff made a few changes that insured her safety. I only called to check on her once; I think that was pretty good. Ha ha

McKenzie’s school had their awards ceremony a couple of days ago. McKenzie was given the awards for Outstanding Participation in P.E., Outstanding Citizenship, P.A.W.S. Member, and Reading and for participating in the, “Read Dog” Reader program, she also got an award for A Honor Roll for 2009 – 2010. She also received a Music Award.

We have a lunch date tomorrow with the regional sales rep for OmniPod tomorrow. I am very excited about that. I will have the chance to check out the Personal Diabetes Manager, which is used to control the wireless insulin pump. The display screen on it is much larger and is LED instead of only back lit. I will also have the opportunity to actually have the pod on and feel what the injection site will feel like for McKenzie. I plan to try the one she uses now as well. I am anxious and excited. Many of McKenzie’s friends have the OmniPod and they are screaming to high heavens that the pump that McKenzie uses right now is the absolute most painful injection possible. I figure if anyone would know, these kids who have used both pump for sure would. There are as with anything pros and cons with both systems. There are a lot of things to take into consideration. I understand the doctor’s logic as far as “McKenzie’s pump is working perfectly why chance changing anything”. I also see her belly bruised and listen to these kids telling me there is a better way and that it does not have to hurt as badly as it does for McKenzie. Needless to say there will be a lot to think about and many questions to ask tomorrow. This man is driving to Lubbock from Dallas. Pray that all goes well and the right choice for McKenzie is made which ever that may be.

We went camping over the weekend; we planned to leave Friday as soon as CC got off the bus. We ended up getting a late start due to problems with McKenzie’s site. I got everything ready and noticed that when I attached the reservoir to the tubing it stuck as soon as I stuck the two together. Normally I stick the two together and then twist till I feel them lock together. Well they appeared to have locked so went proceeded to the next step of pealing the tape off the inset and “popping” McKenzie. This is where the popper is placed against her belly and clicked to basically stab the inset into her skin, When you pull the popper away the inset should stay attached to her belly. That did not happen however, the tape stuck to the inside of the popper so the needle stabbed her but when it was pulled away it pulled the entire inset away as well. Eww talk about one mad Kenzie and an even Madder Kevin. I was mad that McKenzie would need to be stuck again however I could not help but feel a bit of relief that the tubing and reservoir that did not feel right to me had to be tossed and we had to start totally over again. I got everything out fresh to start again and when we opened the next inset Kevin compared insets and realized that the center on this one was also not centered properly. With Kenzie Becoming more and more anxious Kevin opened the needle part of the inset to realize the needle was bent. Thank God we did not pop her without double checking everything. Once again we tossed everything and started yet again. The third time everything went normally but McKenzie did get a little more emotional than usual I think due to the build up and just he anticipation. I felt terrible. I asked McKenzie would she rather just go back to the shots. She pulled her pump away from me and said NO are you nuts. Ha ha. We made it out of town a couple hours later than we planned and went ahead and took our time. We set the tent and everything up in the dark but this was not the first time. Kevin has geared the truck to be able to light the camp site up and run anything we might need so setting up in the dark is much easier now.

The place we went camping is said to have one of the darkest skies in Texas. I believe that because this was the first time I have ever been able to see the stars other than with a telescope. We got up and enjoyed bacon and eggs thanks to Kevin. The girls and I washed up the dishes and got ready for the day. Kenzie made a special trip back to the tent to make absolute sure that the window was zipped. Ha ha last time she left it opened and out of nowhere it started to rain. Her sleeping bag got wet and well, yeah I don’t ever see her not checking the window again in her life time. Ha ha We headed out for some fishing and had a blast. After about five hours of fishing and a dozen or so fish caught and released mostly by the girls we made it over to the ranger station to see a demonstration by Tall Paul who is a flint Napper. That was really cool. He showed us how the first weapons were made. We also got to see how an arrow is thrown using an atlatl. That was amazing; this is what was used before the bow and arrow. I gave it a try and actually sent two 5 or 6 foot arrows pretty dang far. Not saying I could aim it or anything but I did manage to get some distance. The girls did great and Kevin sent a few across a road and one in a tree a ways away. Ha ha I love it great memories and really cool videos.

Only one thing I don’t understand about state parks. Why is it that the boy’s bathrooms always have great water pressure while the girls have none at all???? HUMMM .. ha ha

Thought for the day; if you constantly tell a child they are stupid they will inevitably live up to the expectations you have set for them. Instead use your words to positively build that child up to do great things in life. This is true with adults as well. Give it a try with someone you care about.

Good Night and God Bless.

Sunglasses and Fish.

2010-05-20T20:42:00.000-07:00

Went to eat at Buns over Texas. CC was not able to eat very good with her braces so we stopped off at Long John Silver and picked her up a couple of fish planks before heading to Wal - Mart. Her fish was really hot so we went ahead and ran into Wal- Mart while it cooled off. We only had to grab Kenzie some sun glasses for her play day tomorrow. Things went fine until she handed me several pairs to hold and I decided to try a pair on, taking my expensive prescription sun glasses off my head and adding them to the pile in my hand. Never thinking about it again I placed all the glasses including mine back on the shelves and we went to find Kevin and CC. So we looked around a bit more. We walked back by the sunglasses because Kevin wanted to find some for Kenzie that were a bit smaller on her face. Kevin came around the corner with my sun glasses in his hand and asked if I had lost something. Oh My Gosh I would have been lost without my sunglasses. I cannot believe I did that. My brain was just not working or something. By this point McKenzie’s blood sugar was low and she had sat down on the floor in line to check out. Kevin opened the Capri Suns and gave her one. I caught my breath and we checked out. I held Kenzie up as she stumbled to the car. As we opened the car doors the smell from the fish nearly knocked us all down. The night is over Thank God. Kenzie has sun glasses and I have mine. CC got a full belly and no one got arrested leaving the Wal- Mart. I was worried on our way home though Kenzie had her head out the window to escape the smell as a police officer drove past. She was scared also she pulled her head in very quickly. I am going to bed so the world will be a safer place. Good Night everyone.

It’s a small step but definitely one worth taking.

2010-05-03T22:14:00.000-07:00

While on a field trip with McKenzie today I was asked "what do we have a special one today?" At first it really made me angry. I am working hard on my temper though so I smiled and said of course each of these children, are so special. He lowered his head and said so you’re a Mom, huu? I said Yes I am and not to worry I will be caring for and looking out for my daughter this week while she comes with her class and swims in Lubbock ISD's Aquatic center's huge pool. He patted me on the shoulder as if to apologize as he walked away. This man is the head of the center. I did not see or hear anything else out of him until Kevin arrived to join us after finishing a test. I did have to giggle a little when the man started to question what Kevin was there for, he did an about face as well as any military soldier when he realized Kevin was there with McKenzie. The thing that really bothers me about today is the fact that McKenzie has diabetes, unless she tells you there is no way for you to know. How do children get treated when they have more obvious issues that they are dealing with? I am so thankful for the Special Olympics program. CC is dealing with a lot and enjoys participating with her friends. She is at a level where she technically can play competitive athletics but the stress causes her to have seizure activity that is simply not worth it. She took a hard fall from her bike yesterday afternoon and scuffed up her arm and leg pretty good. The last time she got hurt was the famous rip stick, when she broke her elbow. I am pretty sure that these falls happen when she has an Absence seizure. She never remembers the fall or what she hit. She just knows that she has pain and is on the ground. I hope and pray that she outgrows the seizures. I keep telling both the girls this is just for now. There is a cure for the diabetes on its way and CC will outgrow all this or they will find a better medication. She is holding in her heartbreak right now while realizing that she will not be able to drive until she has been seizure free without medication for two consistent years. She will get there I believe that God is helping us along this path and he is taking us where we are supposed to be. He will take care of everything. We only have to believe and trust that. As for the less compassionate people that we run across on this path, they are traveling their own path and God will also help them along their way. I am privileged to have had the opportunity today to if nothing else make the man at the pool think about the words that he chose to use and perhaps next time he will think about the words first. It’s a small step but definitely one worth taking.

Very Special Child.

2010-05-03T21:32:00.000-07:00

A meeting was held quite far from earth

"It's time again for another birth"

Said the angels to the Lord above,

"This special child will need much love"

His progress may seem very slow

Accomplishments he may not show

And he will require special care

From the folks he meets way down there.

He may not run or laugh or play

His thoughts may seem quite far away

In many ways he won't adapt

And he'll be known as handicapped.

So let's be careful where he's sent

We want his life to be content

Please Lord, find the parents who

Will do a special job for you.

They may not realize right away

The leading role they're asked to play

But with this child sent from above

Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given

In caring for this gift from Heaven

Their precious charge, so meek and mild

Is Heaven's Very Special Child.

The always comical face book.

2010-05-03T21:03:00.000-07:00

The computer is a communication must but it also creates major room for unintentionally rude half thoughts to be place on the other person’s screen almost as if you blurted the thoughtless remark out just in time to realize how very stupid it was. I was having a conversation with an old friend. I said “we had our bath tub refinished last week and I thought I was going to go crazy” at this point I was ambushed from behind and drug away kicking and screaming the entire time. The rest of my thought would have come out like this. “I cannot even imagine what he and his family have been going through after having something so dramatic happen to their home. I am so proud for them for sticking together and making it so beautiful. A lot of people would have rolled over and whimpered, feeling sorry for their selves and made the situation much worse and longer lasting for their children and for them to have to deal with.” I struggled to escape the strong hold that only a mother in law is capable of, only to find he was no longer on the always comical face book. I hope he and his family know that I along with everyone around see and admire their enormous strength and what a wonderful example they are setting for all of us. The truly ironic part of our conversation was the fact that he was checking to make sure I had found someone to do some repair work on my parent’s house. Those are the types of friends everyone needs.

No More Geology. YAY!!!

2010-04-22T21:52:00.000-07:00

Today was flat out hard. Both the girls had a wonderful day. Kevin and I finished up our Geology lab class and I finished my SR. Seminar class. YAY. Face book is starting to remind me of Jacksboro A LOT oh well worst case I will break the FB habit and stick with blogging. Tomorrow will also be filled plum full so I better get some sleep.

Scary Morning

2010-04-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

Kenzie's tubing for her pump came loose at some point in the night. messed blood sugar up. First time she has had keytones in 3 years. Been on the phone nonstop with Kenzie's Awesome Team since 6am. This could have quickly led to the ER but with lots of water a few extra old fashion injections and a brand new site Miss McKenzie is keytone free and ready to head to school. We have to check blood one more time but it is on its way down and she is back up running like a maniac. Thank the Lord and our Team
Just checked again YAY!!! 177 and a ticked off kid cause she missed PE ha ha I love it she is worried about the important stuff that keds should be worried about. That makes me very happy. headed to take her to PE have a great day everyone.

Lubbock students earn Teens of the Month honors

2010-04-19T03:51:00.000-07:00

Lubbock students earn Teens of the Month honors
Lubbock Avalanche-Journal

CC Tanner, an eighth-grader at Atkins, is the daughter of Brandy Tanner and Kevin Smith. She is involved in the recycling program, American Diabetes Association and Special Olympics Program.

We are so lucky to have such a awesome teenager.. CC rocks. We are soooo Proud of you CC. That is a wonderful honor and you earned it. You are always the first to step up and help someone when they need it. You have a truly sweet heart and are strong enough to be able to help your friends. You make me so proud.

Love you Sweet Girl. I have to go buy more newspapers now ha ha.

Just another Sunday LOL!!!!!!!

2010-04-18T17:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, as a matter of fact sometimes I do wonder if it is me who is the crazy one in all this. I usually get some signal that reminds me of why this thought is not reality. It normally comes in the form of a text message. I have to say though the pictures I receive are by far the most fun. It breaks my heart that things have drug out the way they have.

While at home depot a few minutes ago. CC insisted she saw the lawyer who has made it his personal mission in life to be a bully. As you all already know CC does not deal with bullies very well. I could not see the man that she was pointing out to me so I just told her he was no where around here and even if he was everything was fine. She immediately went to Kevin. By the time Kevin understood what she was saying and turned to look the man had made it out of the store leaving the stuff he was about to buy on the checkout counter. Weather it was him or not I have no clue. I am glad that my girls are keeping a good eye out for crazy looking people but sure wish they didn’t have to.

On a happy note Kevin and his brother got the expensive treadmill taken back to sears. I waited and bought the one that I thought would hold up the best. It only worked for two weeks. It took a month to have the tech come try to fix it after they made Kevin take it apart over the phone. Kevin finally said I paid way too much for this thing come fix it. The tech was here Friday and it broke again yesterday. Kenzie ran a mile in 8:42. She was hauling some booty. They are having a bunch of problems with the Nordic Track right now I think the belts they are using are too small or something. Sears was great. They gave us the full refund. I think they knew Kevin was pretty bitter about the entire situation. They didn’t even try to charge us their stalking fee.

I am going to get back to writing my paper I might put it up here when I am finished it is pretty interesting. It is about the benefits of the Omni Pod insulin pump and why doctors should push for the insurance companies to pay for it. Wireless and Water proof need I say more?

One last tid bit, for any of my loving family who might read this. I went ahead and sent my thoughts on the most recent drama by fax so that my words can only be twisted after you read them exactly from me. I truly hope and pray that none of you ever have to make some of the choices that I have been forced to over the past couple of years. I will say this if those choices should ever sneak up and slap you in the face and turn your very own world upside down, I will be here and I will never judge you for protecting yourself, your kids, or any of the rest of your family. Good luck with that, have fun.

Sock Saga 2010

2010-04-17T21:33:00.000-07:00

Saturday’s are always fun. Today was still rainy and the kids had to stay inside. As much fun as this sounds it got even better. We managed to put the sock saga of 2010 to rest finally. McKenzie is extremely picky about her socks. They have to be Hanes and they must be a specific style as far as the tops not too long or too short. With that being said the nice folks at the Hanes Company make it simple and easy. The word Hanes on the style and size that McKenzie approves of is printed in blue. Well things were going fantastic, till one day someone at the Hanes Company decided McKenzie’s socks needed to have the word Hanes printed in Purple. I thought nothing of it. I washed them and stuck them in her sock drawer. For about a month now I have not been able to figure out why she kept putting her socks in my drawer. I would go to put my socks on and they would be too small. Frustration built. I decided today to get to the bottom of it. I pulled all of our socks out of both drawers and had her help me match them all. Again she kept tossing her socks in my pile. I told her they where hers and she said no they are not. I had her put them on. She had a shocked look on her face when they fit perfect. I asked her if it was ok for them to go in her drawer now and she said yes as long as the blue ones are matched with the blue ones and the purple with the purple. I had been matching that part already, just because I know my kid. I agreed and we put all the socks away. She cracks me up. CC walked by at one point and said Kenzie just, don’t put the socks you don’t like in Mom’s drawer. That way you won’t have to re match all the socks. Ha ha I am glad we figured out what the problem was. All the socks she has are identical same size and style. It must be that way. She has to line them up in her drawer a special way also. Got to Love Her.

Numb

2010-04-16T18:57:00.000-07:00

Yes it is cold but this numbness is more emotional. Doing the right thing paid off. I was able to clear up a situation up that most of my family won’t even listen to me about to understand that there is anything to be concerned about. The ones who do listen blow me off and continue believing they own something they don’t. Not too terribly long ago I cared about what people “back home “thought. Those days are long gone. I feel lighter already.

The plan at this point is to clear all the legal stuff up and step away. I will always love my family however I don’t have to allow them to hurt me to show my love. I am frustrated and well just annoyed as I sit here reading over a few new e mails from back home. I spent the day chasing down information because it was well demanded of me. That was not the smart thing to do. I will never get this day back it is gone. The reason this frustrates me so much is because it was an issue that really had nothing to do with me or the things I am trying to accomplish. On top of that fact, I realized once I got to the bottom of the inflated ordeal the brow beater who had sent me on this wild goose chase had the information the entire time. I did not have time for the mind games or the emotional terrorism today.

I sure wish the rain would ease up. After I floated the car across an intersection on my way home from school yesterday it has started making a weird noise. We are hoping a belt is just wet or something like that and it will fix its self. Would have taken the truck but we only have the parking pass sticker on the cars so I would have had to walk from off campus or I would have had to go round and round in the parking garage. I don’t like that place at all its creepy and people drive way to fast in there.

Oh CC saw the orthodontist the other day. We are looking at braces in the next couple of months. Have to have a tooth pulled first she is not going to like that at all. She is a bit excited about getting to pick out the colors that will go on the braces once they are on.

Oh great news. The repair guy came to the house today and fixed my kick butt treadmill since it has been messed up for a few weeks. It seems that the Nordic track folks have made bunch treadmills that the belt is a bit too small. I will get busy testing it out shortly.

I really wish I could get that Nation wide jingle out of my head.
Nationwide is on your side.ha ha now its in your head.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Brain Blunder.

2010-04-14T22:40:00.000-07:00

I had a bit of a blunder a few weeks ago and am still kicking my own butt. Have you ever said something out loud and that very second, realized it sounded extremely inappropriate? At that point you attempt to explain what you meant; this inevitably only makes things worse. Well the Sweet lady that I made this thoughtless remark while sitting next to is one of those people in my life that has truly earned my respect. She is a true lady and her sheer presence has a way of invoking proper manners and even a slightly improved posture. We went to visit with her tonight for the first time since my brain slip. I felt like a little kid all over again. When the “incident” happened as CC will tell you, this sweet lady simply laughed, in udder shock I am sure. Regardless I have held on to it for a couple of weeks now and worried that it would come up in conversation as a joke. I would have proceeded to crawl under the table the way I started to when it happened. I am once again amazed with her grace and class. Not a word was mentioned about it. She carries herself in just such a way that not only did she not say anything to bring it up but she holds an appropriateness standard for those around her that no one said a word. We had a wonderful visit and everything was the way it always has been. Looking back now I realize the reason it bothered me so much to start with was the very reason that I had no reason to worry that she would bring it back up. I think the bright red color of my face told her I really did not mean the innocent remark the way it sounded.

I would share it however I don’t think I will ever say anything close to it again as long as I live.

"The Right Thing"

2010-04-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

There are days when I feel like I am being tested. I don’t mean at school but in life. I made an extremely hard decision today and feel good about it. With all the legal stuff that has been going on it has been my own ethical and moral values and convictions that seem to deliberately be challenged. I am in a unique position that I never anticipated or desired. I have certain responsibilities that I intend to fulfill completely. Above all else I have a conscience. There are many people I am expected to answer to at this point Judges, family, the list goes on and on. The most important however is to answer to myself and the Lord above. The Lord has gotten me this far not the judges or my family. No the Lord has given me guidance when I have prayed about these things. He has also placed people in my life who I believe are his own helping hand.

Doing the “right thing” is usually not the popular rout however it is what God expects of us. Even if others might turn their head or take advantage, I believe with all my heart that doing the right thing will always pay off in the end. I have heard people say that doing the right thing blew up in their face. I cannot remember the right thing ever back firing on me. That’s not to say I have not had explosions because I have but they were not due to doing what was right. In most cases I think the explosion is at least minimized compared to what it might have been if I had followed what was easier. I want to teach my daughters to make decisions in life that they can be proud of the only way I can do that is to set that example myself.

I made several phone calls today and I pray that everything turns out the way it should be. I am sure that there will be a few people who are not happy with me but I have decided that I am ok with that. I will be able to look my daughters in the eye and know that if they understood everything that was going on they would be proud of me. Everything happens for a reason. All I have to do is, whatever I feel is right and this will all turn out the way God has planned.

McKenzie's A1C

2010-04-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

McKenzie and Dr. Varma

A1C 6.8 YAY!!!!!

We just got home from taking McKenzie to see Dr. Varma, her endocrinologist. He has been our hero in the diabetes fight from day one. As many times as he has told me “everything is going to be OK” none of us have ever seen him smile. Today he smiled ear to ear and gave McKenzie a huge hug. This was McKenzie’s three month visit. Her A1C blood test, the average of her blood sugar levels came back at a perfect 6.8. It has gone down an entire point since she got the pump. The Doctor warned us that most kids and even adults get complacent when they get a pump and their A1C jumps at least a point the first three months. We are very excited and super proud. Dr. Varma, Dr. B, Nurse Dreama, Nurse Alley, Mrs. Margie, Nurse Christy, Mrs. Ladd, Mrs. Lopez, CC, Kevin, Nanny, Paw Paw Bruce, Jenny, Taylor, Amanda, Tracey, Stacy, PK, Alex, Mrs. Carter, Mrs. Peirce, Mr. Jones, Sue Anne wow lots of thank you hugs to give out. We have had a few rough days here and there and that will continue I am sure. Overall McKenzie is setting herself up to have a wonderful and healthy future. I do not want her to have to deal with complications from this later in life. She is proud and when asked if she is on a special diet she always says “no not really just have to count everything and tell Spencer what I eat”. Her body fat index is a little low because she is all muscle. She thought that was a bad thing, she is happy now that she understands it though. She is also going to be taller than me like her sister already is. McKenzie I love you and am so proud of you.

Nurse Dreama

Nurse Alley

Easter 2010

2010-04-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

Easter went well for the most part. I did miss my family. I enjoyed being able to take our time and really get into coloring and decorating the eggs. CC and Kenzie loved hearing the story of the resurrection of Jesus. It is comical how they will pretend to not know the details in order to entice me to sit and tell them the story all over again. I have to admit; I still look forward to it and enjoy every single second. We enjoyed having a few friends over for dinner and a small egg hunt in our backyard. I refuse to accept the fact that I am old enough to have daughters who are too old to hunt eggs. The egg hunts will never end they will have to hide the eggs for me at some point I guess.

I love each and every one of my friends. Some of them are very different from others though. It used to make me nervous to invite a non- believer to dinner especially for Easter dinner. I have prayed about this and was not given the perfect solution right away. On one hand I did not want to be that friend who made you feel uneasy before we even began to eat. We always pray before our meal and out friends are all wonderful and respect the fact that they are encouraged to fold their hands and join us. I was not totally sure that handling the difference this way was the right thing to do. I was not sure so I went with it to see how things progressed.

The friend I am talking about is a young adult and has a mind all her own. She is an extremely smart person and will do great things in life. Based on the fact that two Outspoken, Strong Christian Woman joined us for dinner last night as well, I once again found myself a bit concerned. I must say the evening’s course of events surprised me. The two most opposite seemed to clamp on to each other and spent the better part of six hours discussing life. I am not sure how deep the two of them managed to get. I learned a truly important lesson that I will cherish forever. I realized that when a young person tells you that they do not believe in the Lord, that is when it is time to show them that it’s ok to discuss and possibly look at things in a different way than what they may have had the guidance to, thus far in life. She has a wonderful family and they are Christians. I am pretty confident that she was comfortable and even ok with listening to the message because the two of them talked until nearly two in the morning. I did feel a little bad they both had to be up this morning. I think it did us all a lot of good though. The Lord once again took the situation that I gave to him and found a way to show me how to handle it. We have never skipped a prayer due to what anyone thought or who was sitting at the table however I had not reached out to her the way I should have either. The influence of others is a powerful developmental factor in all of our lives. There are certain people in my life that I make time to stop and tell how much they have helped me grow as a person. I recognize on a daily basis how the choices I make determine how difficult a situation will end up being to handle. Never allow emotions to fight battles for you or even to start them. Always take a little bit of time to think before responding. Words can never be taken back. Examples are in stone the second you let your children see you set them. God Bless.

Fresh Start

2010-04-02T08:48:00.000-07:00

Welcome I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do writing abotu all the different things that happen in my life. Please feel free to comment or share your own thoughts.
I am refreshing some things in my life. I may at some point import my blogs but for now this blog will serve as a fresh start. With that being said, it is 4:30am on Good Friday. I am looking forward to the bit of a break from school for Easter. It would be nice if Lubbock ISD and Texas Tech would chit chat and pick either Friday or Monday to not have classes. We will have a nice time anyway. It just makes it incredibly hard to make a trip out of town to see family this way.
C.C. is doing fantastic. She has her first boyfriend. She is getting really excited about the 8th grade banquet in a couple of weeks. We get to go girl shopping for something pretty this weekend. McKenzie is also doing great. We have had "Spencer" the insulin pump for about three months. Her blood sugar numbers are looking awesome. We will have an A1C done in a week or so when she gets to go see her favorite doctor in the world, her hero Dr. Varma. C.C. is also pretty fond of her Doctor. He has worked with us really well. Together we have figured out the perfect combination or two different types of seizure medication. She is not sleepy all the time. She is able to be more alert and aware of what is going on around her. She is a typical teenage girl. As frustrating as that is at time, we are so incredibly proud. Kevin and I are both doing well in classes. I love the fact that on a daily basis we give each other booth talks. This is where we take a few minutes sporadically and become a cheerleader for the other person. Might sound a bit silly but sometimes when things start piling up and deadlines start rushing at you which is exactly what you need from someone who believes in you. If this for whatever reason does not do the trick a good kick in the pants should always work. I am kidding of course.

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